20!

I am about to turn 20 in a few Days… Lots and lots of emotions are throttling inside me …rushing to flow out ….For all the little kids in their early teenage believing that they have grown up a lot, trust me there’s a long way to go. So many things have come up my way in these few years which have seemed to be my entire world at that time . But eventually mostly everyone and everything leaves your side.It’s you and your family (in some cases even this is not an option) who at the end of the day will be beside you till eternity. Falling in love with someone else is secondary . The primary and most important thing is to love your own self. The amount of love you give to your own self will come back to you in many ways . Every little thing that had come my way in my teenage years have felt shall stay till eternity, every moment made me feel that ‘that’ particular human or thing is indispensable. So many heartbreaks and so much " my life has been falling apart" and so much joy altogether made my teenage years pretty . I mustn’t disagree that I have not many friends . Probably I couldn’t make any or maybe they don’t have the potential to stay back or maybe friends are something god has just not destined for me …whatever it is  I have made peace with it . That am just unlucky in love and friendships . Nonetheless this fact affected me so much few years back …But now my teenage years have taught me to cherish my solitude . All in all life has changed ….My early teenage years saw me almost getting succumbed to OCD and anxiety, every morning felt a burden to me every single day . But god didn’t cut my life short by not giving me the potential to do so, Life changed , for the better . I started looking up to mornings as opportunities. I learnt that times change . But , so do people  , with changing times and circumstances we realise that the person we know and the one standing before us are two separate beings. It’s not really easy to  understand people but it’s more difficult to recover their intentions from  their faces and conduct. I have faced so much of betrayals that now I have mastered detachment . It takes me not many days to cover up my tears and get up fresh. I have learnt that my past with someone wasn’t beautiful doesn’t necessarily mean that my future with someone else will also be tumultuous. I have learnt a lot . I have learnt to stay quiet and observe , to read the room before I speak and behave . Besides detachment I have mastered silence . All in all ,before I enter my twenties I have uncovered the secret of keeping things within me in peace and not speaking up unless sheer need.I look forward to learning a bunch of newer things in the next decade  . In the end , just , thank you god for everything.