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The Comeback, 2026

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 A very 'dear diary' moment for me indeed.  It's been pretty long since I got back to this pretty little public journal of mine. Now that I have, I want to confess my learnings from this recent past healing phase of mine. I have learned to set boundaries-boundaries that not only define me but also define how much I let people access me. Every ounce of me was so accessible that I was taken for granted under every possible circumstance. This has always been something I have utterly hated, but I never did anything towards correcting myself . It had been a habit, blaming  others for  their  deeds . I mean of course what they did was more than just bad , but it's just  who they are . It's nothing exaggerated or outsized. IT'S JUST THEM.  It's inexplicably empowering to be me and just be me. There's no influence or manipulation happening. Manipulation again is just a bit too powerful. You can literally leave out of your soul and breathe a different existence...
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03.01.2025

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 Passive suicide can proactively turn into actual, effective suicidal ideation, which paves the way for life-taking decisions.  3rd Jan 2025 it was, the start of another year, in anticipation of it being a really good one. Anyways, God had other unprecedented, priorly unobtrusive plans for me. I had an exam and wasn't prepared for the drama to hit. I opted for certain methods of cheating I wasn't really a pro at. And I amn't even comfortable with the idea of cheating in exams. Eventually, I got caught, which was quite unsaid but expected. I had been insisted to leave the exam hall after my phone had been seized already. I left the institution unaware of my mental state, which was in complete ruin in the thought of the completely made-up impending disaster. I aimlessly roamed the streets for hours afterward and consumed certain life-threatening drugs, and the dosage was pretty intimidating. The only thought that overruled all other thoughts inside me was the probable disaste...
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How do I?

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How do I explain...I enjoy connecting to people but I don't connect to them. How do I explain..I am that shinning half moon who's absurdly wholesome without the other half? How do I explain I would anyday choose that book over you...that career over love and my family over friends?  They asked me why? I answered because everyone doesn't offer the anonymity I need ...If you know what I mean? I pushed away things when I got too much attached to it . How do I explain everytime I tried to be normal... As normal as this generation demands me to be... things felt out of place. I tried and tried and tried but in vain.  Reverting back I, saw things falling into place faster that light retraces it's path. I took up that book and dived deep within... I took that pillow and snuggled in the blanket...I realised all You need to dwell is nothing but you. Deleting that one contact, removing that one person from life can make all the difference... For me, life is but that breath of fr...
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